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November 8, 2007
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2007-11-08 
Reviews - CD
20 Pound Shovel
Act Your Age
(Independent)

B-

20 Pound Shovel

Ste. Anne-based pop-punk trio 20 Pound Shovel makes the same bratty, skate-punk noise that was coming from Orange County in the mid-'90s - but this isn't quite as pioneering as, say, Offspring. Taking a few obvious cues from Sum 41 - and to a lesser extent, Blink 182 - this is a polished, grit-free five-song romp that's catchy as hell but leaves one feeling a little unsatisfied. The band clearly has talent when it comes to penning solid guitar and vocal parts but edgy this isn't - it's perfect for the kids who buy their angst at the mall.
— Jen Zoratti
After All These Years
Small Town Ways
(Independent)

B+

After All These Years

There are two kinds of country music. You have Toby Keith, and then you have real country. Well thank Hank that After All These Years plays the latter. Album kicker Last Train to Memphis is hotter than a branded butt, so you might want to let it cool on the windowsill before listening. With lines such as "spent most of my money on Johnnie Walker and Jim Beam," this tune is more country than a frozen horseshit hockey puck. Small Town Ways is a slightly cheesy but still satisfying bit of rock/country balladry. Imagine Lynyrd Skynyrd covering Skid Row's I Remember You. Hillbilly Heartache starts off by saying it's by a sheep-fancying dead dude named Pedalin' Joe, and turns into a fast foot-stomper about cops and grow-ops. Last on this EP is The Smallest Things, a slow, sombre song, good for shedding tears while you're shining your spurs. If these four tunes bake your biscuits, good news - word on the trail is a new full-length is due fairly soon
— Jared Story
Athavale
Devoted
(Ten Doors Down)

B-

Athavale

Erik Athavale knows how to lay down a groove. Devoted is the debut album from this soul/pop crooner, and this catchy collection of songs will appeal to fans of Maroon 5 and Jamiroquai. The title track is an infectious hip-shaker, and is the best example of Athavale's smooth-like-peanut-butter vocals - but it's his jazz leanings that make him an exiting local artist to watch. Despite a few bubblegum pop snoozers (disc opener Beautiful could be a Backstreet Boys tune), this record is a solid first effort. Hopefully, Athavale will become a mainstay on the jazz fest circuit rather than on the commercial pop radio one.
— Jen Zoratti
Steve Bell
Symphony Sessions
(Signpost Music)

A

Steve Bell

Nearly lost in the hoopla of the 2006 Grey Cup Festival was Steve Bell's first performance with the Winnipeg Symphony Orchestra. Playing to a sold-out Centennial Concert Hall, with the WSO conducted by Rei Hotoda to charts written by Michael Janzen, Bell reprised some of the most beloved songs from his catalogue - and hit upon a new chapter in his career. This concert season, the Christian folksinger/songwriter has taken his orchestral show across the country and he's also recorded this wonderfully paced, perfectly pitched 14-track collection that recalls that evening on Main Street. When Bell's rich alto soars and the WSO is given rein to burst from these careful arrangements, the sound here is truly blessed.
— John Kendle
Tracy Bone
No Lies
(Arbor Records)

B

Tracy Bone

Bone dabbles with sounds and styles on her full-length debut, flirting with rock, pop and folk throughout these 10 tunes. That said, country is where Bone should set her sights, especially with songs as good as Lonely With You and duets as heartfelt as No Lies, the tune she shares with life-partner JC Campbell. While the big sound of album closer The Game is what first brought Bone to attention on NCI, it rings as melodramatic when set against Lonely. The latter song captures the essence of love, regret and hope in three verses, a chorus and a bridge, all set to a jaunty, early Steve Earle vibe that brings the essence of Bone's talent into sharp, clear focus.
— John Kendle
Sean Brown
Ready Fire Aim
(Independent)

C+

Sean Brown

Brown leads off his debut solo recording with his strongest tune, Only Human, an energized, reverb-drenched pop/rock song that rings with guitar-fuelled conviction (Weakerthan Stephen Carroll supplies the solo). The rest of this 10-song disc runs the gamut from pseudo-reggae (the upbeat melodies of Oh Life) to mid-tempo Pearl Jam-esque, Temple of the Dog-like and Tragically Hip-ish workouts (Little Voyageur, All I'm Chasing, A Better Way) that begin to sound the same rather quickly. Having set the bar high with his opener, Brown can't quite reach the same heights - but at least we know he can.
— John Kendle
JC Campbell
Lazy James
(Strongfront)

A-

JC Campbell

If you haven't heard of JC Campbell, now is the time to check him out. Lazy James is a rootsy, blues record with no shortage of grit. Campbell sings like a road-weary troubadour, and his deep, smoky pipes make him sound like he's straight outta Nashville. But it's not just his voice that makes this record a treat - the guitar work is also exceptional. The standout here is The Grind, a dirty, bluesy number which was made to be paired with a night of drinking Standard at the Times Change(d). If you're a fan of the man in black, Lazy James is worthy of a place in your collection.
— Jen Zoratti
Cone Five
Ants in the Sugar
(Grumpy Cloud)

B+

Cone Five

What a wonderfully weird little record by a wonderfully weird little band. Though experimentalists Cone Five disbanded in 2006, Ants in the Sugar is an appropriately wacky note for it to finish on. Crafting their own brand of art-house noise pop, this sextet defied labels, simply by conforming to none. From jangly alt-folk to sloppy power punk, this record is hardly unified or consistent, but there's something endearing about its total lack of direction. The most lovable thing about this album is its voices: Leslie Oldham's girlish vocals trade off nicely with Matt McLennan's deep husk - especially on the adorable acoustic number Hurry Home, on which they sing together. But lest you think that Cone Five sounds amateurish, its eclectic noise is carefully calculated - without ever sounding like it. It takes talent, oddly, to never sound like the same band twice.
— Jen Zoratti
Da Skelpa Squad
A New Beginning
(Da Skelpa Squad Entertainment)

D+

Da Skelpa Squad

After reading up on local Aboriginal rap collective Da Skelpa Squad, I thought that A New Beginning would be a politically fuelled record full of clever raps about life on the streets of Winnipeg - and my expectations were raised after learning this effort was recently nominated for a 2007 Canadian Aboriginal Music Award. Unfortunately, I was disappointed. While A New Beginning is certainly angry, it's hardly the rallying cry I was expecting. With lyrics such as "make a dirty bitch out of daddy's princess" and an almost uncomfortable frequency of 'fucks' and 'motherfuckers,' this record embodies everything wrong with commercial rap. But this album isn't particularly shocking because of its profanity - it's shocking because it's so angry, yet has so little to say. This could have been a fiercely local social commentary. Instead, it opts to be nothing but semi-offensive drivel.
— Jen Zoratti
The Details
Draw a Distance.Draw a Border.
(Parliament of Trees)

A-

The Details

The Details, though relatively new to the scene, have already established a penchant for crafting pretty, delicate indie pop tunes that build beautifully and explode into shimmering chorus lines. While the quartet clearly have a love for The Weakerthans that shines through in its lyrics, it doesn't make the novice mistake of trying to mimic a Weakerthans record. Tender, emotive and deeply listenable, Draw a Distance. Draw a Border. is, indeed, an impressive full-length debut- but the band seems a bit more subdued on record than it does onstage, which makes some songs, such as Underground, lose their punch. That said, this exists effectively as a quietly beautiful debut, and it'll be interesting to see what the band servesup next.
— Jen Zoratti
Christine Fellows
Nevertheless
(Six Shooter)

A

Christine Fellows

Fellows' fourth full-length recording began its life as a song-cycle for modern dancer Susie Burpee's show, The Spinster's Almanac. The musician's reading and research for that project brought her to the work of New York poet Marianne Moore, whose life and writings became much of the inspiration for this ambitious, baroque folk-pop album. The sounds here - recorded at the Manitoba Opera House and at Prairie Recording Company by Cam Loeppky - are richly textured and lovingly played. Percussive elements such as xylophone and precise rim-clicking propel the tunes like so many metronomes, while the melodies of songs such as The Parlour Rollers or Poor Robin are made ripe by cello, viola and violin. Lyrically, these songs seem to explore the eccentricity of prolonged solitude (as on the title track or Saturday Night on Utopia Parkway) or take off on esoteric and poetic flights of fancy (What Makes the Cherry Red, The Goddess of Macramé). High-minded they may be, but these are combinations of words and music that will fire imaginations.
— John Kendle
Four Mile Road
Four Mile Road
(Independent)

C-

Four Mile Road

This is the kind of easygoing, safe and especially dull country that my rural roots just seem to go redneck over. A no- power trio, Four Mile Road is two pretty girls and one pretty guy playing pretty, "country" music. You know the kind; it's all over the radio. It's bland, boring and about as inoffensive as my grandma's driving. I know there's a market for this and that some people don't want to be challenged musically, and that's fine. But keep in mind that those are the same people who think Nickelback is rock 'n' roll. Red Handed is Four Mile Road's fight against piracy dressed up as a song about cheating hearts. The rest of the songs are, I assume, all about love. If Patty Loveless, Keith Urban and Jo Dee Messina tickle your fancy, by all means, pick this up. Otherwise, don't go down this Road.
— Jared Story
Billy Joe Green
The Best of Billy Joe Green
(Arbor Records/ Strongfront Records)

B+

Billy Joe Green

I don't get best-of compilations. I consider them completely unnecessary. Take The Best of Billy Joe Green for example. All but two of these tunes are from a grand total of two albums. Why not re-release those two albums and throw those two tunes in as bonus tracks? Before I have a greatest fit here, let's talk music. Billy Joe Green is a formidable guitar player who excels at hard-rocking blues. First track Heartbreaker is perfect for those about to rock, a nitty gritty number that sounds similar to Winnipeg's own Perpetrators. Soul Search and Lelo's Blues are a couple of absolutely smokin' instrumentals, highlighting Green's impressive chops, and Don't Ask Me has plenty of jump, not unlike Zeppelin's Trampled Underfoot. The lone slow and sweet song, Together, Together is a pretty little ditty, but Green is better suited to delivering dirty blues rockers. All in all, this is a good introduction to Billy Joe Green, but those already familiar with the Aboriginal axe-man won't find much point in this.
— Jared Story
Hide Your Daughters
The Teen Girl's Guide to Social Success
(No List Records)

A

Hide Your Daughters

Hide Your Daughters members are or have been in KEN Mode, Electro Quarterstaff, Meatrack, Kittens, Boldface Industry and Malefaction. All of which should tell you that HYD is really fucking heavy. It's heavier than metal. It's like adamantium (look it up) or something. Take a big breath, because lead-off track Luck of Insects strikes like a riff-rocking punch to the stomach, possibly harder than the one that killed Houdini. But this is no one-shot showdown - you're entering a world of hurt. Ex-Gymnastics Instructor, Colt Forty-five and Viking Funeral pulverize, and HYD beats listeners senseless with a sack full of riffs that recall Black Flag, Spiritual Beggars and the Cancer Bats. When it's all said and done, you'll need a shovel to dig yourself out of the layers upon layers of riff-a-rolla. This one's only for the most masochistic of music fans.
— Jared Story
Keith and Renée
Revolution
(KAR/Fontana North)

B

Keith and Renée

Keith Macpherson and Renée Lamoureux aren't necessarily calling the world to arms with this album, but they do sense that everything needs a shakeup. With that in mind, they've gone and overturned their approach to music, dropping their old moniker (Easily Amused) and remaking their folk-pop sound as tougher, more mainstream pop-rock. The results are infectious, turning the duo from soft-focus, pastel-coloured charmers into darker, edgier rockers, and tunes such as Wake Up World, Surprise Yourself and the title track should be the pair's new guiding lights, as they capture the energy that's called for by such a shift. There are a couple too many mid-tempo mediocrities here but, of the slower material, the bare-bones approach of July, the emotional performance on Love and Pain and the haunting refrain of Amazing are standouts.
— John Kendle
Kraink
Aprés La Grande Guerre
(Spire)

B

Kraink

Many contemporary North American artists are breaking the English mold and embracing their mother tongues - Gogol Bordello's Ukrainian gypsy punk is the best example - and, similarly, this French orchestral-pop trio knows how to transcend language boundaries. Aprés la grande guerre is sung entirely in French, but the eternally romantic language suits Kraink's cryptic, film noir soundscapes perfectly. Delicate piano riffs and acoustic guitar are the hallmark of this record, and the subtle use of accordion - as on standout track Des beaux mots plein la tete - transports you to a streetside café in Paris or Montreal. Though some chorus lines border on melodramatic, the brothers Gosselin do a nice job at keeping this record appropriately subdued. Kraink proves that you don't need to understand everything for it to be beautiful.
— Jen Zoratti
The Nods
Static Pop
(Castrati Music)

A-

The Nods

It took a while to get this one out of the player. The Nods' Static Pop is an 11-song slice of vintage, garage-rockin' goodness - and it's solid from beginning to end. Striking a fine balance between '70s riff-rock and '90s grunge - with the occasional nod to '60s mod - this record is a great little rock 'n' roll history lesson that avoids being campy. From the infectiously rockin' Honey to the anthemic harmonies of Whatever It Is to the pure retro-pop bliss of Talk About It, there isn't a song on here that isn't catchy. Seriously. That said, it'd be nice to hear something from the boys that's a little more static and a little less pop, but there's little fault with this record.
— Jen Zoratti
Scott Nolan
Receiver/Reflector
(Transistor 66)

B+

Scott Nolan

Nolan was working on an uptempo follow-up to No Bourbon and Bad Radio when he and drummer Joanna Miller happened upon an opportunity to work with Gurf Morlix, the guitar-playin' producer who helmed Romi Mayes' last release. The result of their five-day session is an album that recalls the quietest moods of Kris Kristofferson and John Prine. There's depth in these slow-moving grooves, and Morlix, Miller and Nolan are wisely content to let the tunes unfold once they've hit upon the essence of each. Opener Bad liver/Broken Heart, delivered in Nolan's whispered drawl and punctuated by keening pedal steel, offers a commentary on life that informs much of this album: "You come in clean and leave torn apart, with a bad liver and a broken heart." Over the course of the next nine songs and 32 or so minutes, Nolan and his cohorts explore that mournful lament to its fullest.
— John Kendle
The Original Painkiller
The Original Painkiller
(Independent)

B

The Original Painkiller

Gotta love that badass Balkan blues! I'm not sure if such music even exists, but Original Painkiller vocalist/bassist Darko Maric hails from Sarajevo, so unless Hendrix had a secret Balkan past, I guess that makes Maric a true original. Speaking of the Voodoo Child, The Original Painkiller brings a similar hard-rocking blues beat, sans the space, but with the same shimmy and shake. Lead off track I'll Be Happy struts a mean shuffle, with Maric claiming "I'll be happy when you're dead." As for the other Painkillers, drummer Noah Jacobson keeps a steady beat and guitarist Jesse Peikoff's no-nonsense riffing keeps the focus on the trio as a whole. Stellar throughout, it's hard to pick any standout songs, but one toe-tapper is Bankers. The Original Painkiller might not make it past the barroom, but I'd definitely buy these guys a beer or three.
— Jared Story
The Paperbacks
An Illusion Against Death
(Parliament of Trees)

B+

The Paperbacks

An Illusion Against Death is The Paperbacks sophomore album, serving as a solid Part 2 to An Episode of Sparrows - and it's the lyrics that shine on this outing. Doug McLean proves a deft lyricist, echoing the political prose of John K. Samson (who also produced this outing.) Other than the occasional overly pretentious song title - The Architecture You Despise, for example - McLean's words are poetic works of art unto themselves, and the rest of The Paperbacks do an excellent job bringing those words off the page. Pretty and introspective, this is a moody little album that can be frustratingly cerebral - but The Paperbacks is a band that challenges its listeners. And there's nothing wrong with that
— Jen Zoratti
Psychotic Gardening
Hürdür
(Independent)

A+

Psychotic Gardening

Methinks the dark one had a hand in Psychotic Gardening's extremely evil debut. OK, maybe he wasn't directly involved, but old Beezlebub surely served as inspiration, because these nine numbers of dark doom and death metal sound straight outta Hell, burning with more fire and brimstone than your average Lucifer lovers. Not just cookie monster vocals and blast beats, there is much more to Psychotic Gardening's wickedness. This is evident on second track Unwanted Guest, when deathly growls and screams give way to a frightening baritone - kind of a cross between Type O Negative's Peter Steele and Pantera's Phil Anselmo, with a touch more evil. The band's not afraid of writing actual songs, either, as keyboards add melody to the mix and the lead guitar work is tuneful rather than chaotic. Other highlights include gothic epic Chemical Leash/Beyond the Horizon, the Opeth-like Eternity Unfulfilled and the Sabbath-ish Molded. Satan commands you to buy this immediately and if you're short on cash, your soul will do
— Jared Story
Fred Redekop and Jay Taylor
As Julia...
(Independent)

B

Fred Redekop and Jay Taylor

The subtitle to this recording is ''.ponders the nature of the bass and mandolin instrumental, she wonders 'why these guys, and why out here?'" Why indeed. Fortunately, ours is not to reason, as mandolinist Redekop and bassist/percussionist Taylor will not only sustain your interest over 13 instrumental tracks, they pretty much put on a master class in making broadcast-ready music for CBC Radio Two. The songs here are spry, lively and always melodic jazz-grass that will leave casual listeners marvelling at the dexterity of Redekop's mandolin playing, while aficionados of the instrument will wonder why we don't hear more of Redekop's playing on other people's albums. Take a listen to the humorously titled Corgy and Beth or The Clue at the Five-and-a-Half Bar and you'll get a full sense of what these cats can do.
— John Kendle
Sick City
Nightlife
(Smallman Records)

B+

Sick City

I just took a Sick City slip. Somebody put up a sign, because Nightlife's squeaky clean polish will either have you falling in love or falling away from this band. The sparkle-and-shine production sanitizes otherwise quite evil-sounding riffs. Tunes such as Islands and In the Millions contain a measurable amount of metal, but it's coated in a sweet, syrupy sound. However, Sick City is more about dancing than headbanging. It's anthemic, radio-ready stuff from a band that knows how to mix just the right amount of metal, hardcore and punk into its pop-rock frame. While these are usually the elements for screamo shit, singer Josh Youngson's refreshingly clean croon separates the band from that stale genre. Whether it's big and bouncy songs such as Turning Heads and Moving, Not Moving Forward or the touching piano ballad City Lights, you'll be hard-pressed not to sing along, and there is enough instrumental aggression here that you won't feel like a complete wuss while doing it. Still, less gloss and more crunch would be greatly appreciated.
— Jared Story
SubCity Dwellers
When the Beat Starts to Pound
(Longshot Music)

A

SubCity Dwellers

Ska is not for everybody. The SubCity Dwellers, however, are. Not just a ska band, this 16 armed beast throws reggae, calypso, punk and straight up rockarolla into the mix, creating an ultra-pleasing palette that is impossible not to groove to. Seriously, if you don't like these songs, you're lying. Here's a few that will crank your skank: Chillin' is a relaxing bit of reggae, a tune that could instantly hippify the most hardcore of conservatives. Play this one in Parliament and before you know it we'd have a 32-hour work week and marijuana would be legalized - shit, maybe even mandatory. Is This Normal? hits hard with its Against Me!-like punk thump. Sweeya is about a virus that's been going around at SubCity shows. Its symptoms include "uncontrollable dancing and loss of one's voice." Get infected.
— Jared Story
Tele
Tele
(Independent)

A-

Tele

Other than The Weakerthans' Reunion Tour, Tele's self-titled debut may have been the most anticipated local release of 2007. Scenesters have salivated over the band's epic live sound, so the electro-rock quartet faced a bit of a challenge when it came to laying that same electric noise on record. But Tele has risen to that challenge and the result is an album that packs the same punch as the live incarnation of the group - well, almost. Frontman Matt Worobec's yearning, ethereal vocals and the band's ever-thunderous fusion of keyboards and guitars are captured well here - but they don't quite reach the same intensity as onstage. Still, this isn't supposed to listen like a live record - occasional keyboard quirks and subtle strings give this album an extra dimension, accenting the record's beautifully melancholy undertone. Though some obvious comparisons to Radiohead and Muse will be drawn, the band's moments of originality outweigh its blatant Brit-rock influences
— Jen Zoratti
Tigerrr Beat
Tigerrr Beat.KILL!
(Independent)

B+

Tigerrr Beat

This three-piece noise pop outfit may bear the same name as a gossip rag for 12-year-olds, but there's nothing fluffy about this Tigerrr Beat. Tigerrr Beat.KILL! is a lo-fi, six-song sampling of what this stripped-down bass, drum and keys band is capable of. Spacey, squiggly keyboard hooks fill in the role of lead guitar, but the band's strange sonic trip is appropriately anchored by staccato handclaps and jerky bass lines. Under the Bed is the stand out of this set, and though singer Christopher Samms sounds like a dead ringer for Wolf Parade/Sunset Rubdown vocalist Spencer Krug on this one, his raspy, throaty vocals suit the fuzzy backdrop well. Experimental in its approach and punk it its DIY execution, Tigerrr Beat's weirdo pop is worth keeping an ear out for.
— Jen Zoratti
Vav Jungle
Pap Rock
(Independent)

B+

Vav Jungle

Eve Rice's wants to take you dancing into her world, where the music is icy, technotronic cool. While there, she'll use her vocoder-altered voice to tell you all about her dirty friends, regale you with tales of a wolverine, sing you a song for Lemmy, ask to play with your stereo and get downright sexy on your supersonic asses. Yes, that sentence was an amalgam of song titles from Vav Jungle's latest collection of dance floor jams - but it's also a selection of the moods Rice will make you feel with her garage-inspired collection of 14 smashing tunes. Rice has always been one for balancing performance art with musical vision, but here she has created an album that might just stand on its own, as these cuts are deep and textured enough to live without the ironic visuals that are her forte. Icy, for example, is a technotronic vibe that should be a club hit wherever the DJs are hip enough to play it.
— John Kendle
Ann Walton
Top of the Hill
(Independent)

A

Ann Walton

Ann Walton is the sort of performer who comes along and causes people like me to go over-the-top crazy with praise. Playing cabaret-infused piano ballads and waltzes, and singing in a quiet, almost slurred drawl, Walton is an immediately arresting singer/songwriter who backs up her unique sound with plenty of substance. Her lyrical imagery is precise, well-considered and wonderfully off-kilter (the album's closing song is a paean to CBC TV correspondent Brian Stewart) and her songs emerge here as fully realized entities, replete with standup bass, brushed snare, occasional accordion and deliberately distressed, old-tyme sonics. Hearing this album is as exciting as discovering Jane Siberry, Mary Margaret O'Hara or Veda Hille for the first time.
— John Kendle
Lindsey White
This Is Now
(Independent)

C+

Lindsey White

White likes to play mid-tempo, vaguely bluesy rock/pop with a three-piece backing band, but she really shines as a piano-playing balladeer - which makes sense given that she's a Conservatory taught pianist and teacher. Her rock material isn't terrible, but it is rather run-of-the-mill when compared to the emotional honesty and melodic elegance of her slower songs, such as So to Speak, Here On In and Cold War. Having released an EP and now this album, it's now time for Lindsey to focus solely on what she does best.
— John Kendle
WHY
Red
(whymusic)

C

WHY

Now, before I get into the critical part of this review, I must give credit where it's due. Brian Cook is a decent rock singer. WHY is a decent rock band. But Red is as generic as a polo shirt, even if it's certainly radio-friendly. The problem I have with this band - and this record - is the blatant U2 plagiarism. Don't get me wrong - it's certainly admirable that WHY has joined the musician-as-activist bandwagon and it's great that the band is an avid supporter of Make Poverty History. But just because you want to be Bono doesn't mean you should try to sound exactly like him. There's nothing original about this record - and though it's polished to the point of cheesiness, there's nothing here but radio fodder crafted by boringly talented musicians. So maybe they are like U2 after all.
— Jen Zoratti
X-Status
X-Status
(Strongfront Records)

C+

X-Status

With titles such as Eagles Fly, Indian Song and Pow-Wow, X-Status is proud of its Aboriginal heritage and looks to share it through the heavy metal medium, much the same way Sepultura embraces its Brazilian background by incorporating South American sounds and rhythms into its groovy thrash. One difference though: Sepultura rule and X-Status is just OK. It's not the instrumentation that's the problem. The hard-driving riffs of songs such as Still Around and Pow Wow, are Ozzfest ready material (well, maybe Ozzfest '99) with a nü-metal sound akin to Static-X and Coal Chamber. I have no qualms concerning the native chanting, either, as it makes for incredibly fun, original metal. The major setback is the vocals. While vocalist/guitarist Jesse Green does bust out some way-cool riffs, he's no Rob Halford. He's not even Udo Dirkschneider (Accept, anybody?). Whether he's grunting, screaming, or just singing, he's basically doing bad metal karaoke. On Warpath, a very Sepultura-like tune, Green's attempt at a falsetto scream is downright embarrassing. If you want X-Status to reach high status, stick to the strings, buddy.
— Jared Story
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