Dear Sasha,
I am 43 and I have never penetrated a woman. I noticed that I was 'abnormal' during 'first base' at the age of 28. I didn't feel anything but disgust. I thought it was because of the bad taste of the girl's saliva. But further experiences have told me that all female mouths had the same taste. The most terrible experience for me was the sight of the genitals of a woman when I was 30. I was extremely disappointed by the ugliness of this part of the female body. All in all, I have had four 'sexual' experiences in my life. Each time I just felt disgust and had no arousal at all. Perhaps I am condemned to live with this contradiction: a normal sexual drive and the psychological impossibility to fulfill this basic need. Am I asexual?
Fred

Dear Fred,
I'm curious to know what you expected the female genitalia to look like because I get the impression that even if you pulled someone's undies down and there was a bowl of ice cream between their legs you'd be disappointed.

From what I understand, you want to have sex with someone, yet women's sexual attributes fill you with hostile revulsion. This doesn't make you asexual; it makes you a very particular type of faggot. I'm picturing an ascot, pursed lips, a cunning daub of eye make-up and the word 'tuna' coughed at me as I walk past you sitting at the bar. I think we can agree it's best for everyone involved if you refrain from girls until you get yourself sorted out.

Has homosexuality not presented itself as an option for you? Or how about a non-genital/gender-specific fetish? It's time you did some investigating on www.sexuality.org and if nothing tickles your fancy then by all means have a gander at www.asexuality.org. Asexuality has gotten a lot of media attention over the past couple of years, some of it even reasonable (though I certainly respect asexuality, I could have a field day with this one) and you'll find some good resources and community on this site.

Hi Sasha,
I think two years ago a girl wrote to u how her boyfriend didn't like her big clik. Well I'm all about clik de bigger the better, so I was wondering if u can give this girl my e-mail.
Browndog

Dear Browndog,
I want you to get yourself two books. One is The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex where you will learn the correct terminology for women's sex organs. The other is The Elements of Style where you will learn how to be a more conscientious letter-writer. I can practically guarantee you will have a much easier time becoming intimate with clitorises of all shapes and sizes if you know how to skillfully woo their owners.

Questions? Comments? Contact Sasha at pouledeluxe@yahoo.com.