Dear Sasha,
I'm a 26-year-old single guy who was born and raised in a quirky little Christian cult that views dating as being almost equivalent to being engaged. This means teenagers are not allowed to date unless they're serious about getting married, plus you can only marry within the group. It also forbids premarital sex, so a lot of my friends got married really young and are now either divorced or stuck in miserable marriages. I took the religion seriously but didn't want to get married. Illicit masturbation took care of the physical side of things so I stayed single and had none of the formative experiences that high school and, later, CEGEP would normally provide. I woke up and got myself out of the cult about 10 months ago and I think it's about damn time I got a girlfriend.

I have no idea how to go about asking a girl out. I tried an online dating site but it seemed like a waste of money and I'd rather see someone face-to-face than chat online. I'm not much of a bar-hopper or a clubber (more into arts and the outdoors). I'd love to find out where to meet women and how to ask someone out.

Eager to Learn

Dear Eager,
A couple of things confuse me: If you took the religion so seriously, why so glib about the illicit masturbation? And 10 months after a quarter-century of Christian doctrine, suddenly you're Mr. Flip, calling your religion by a more denigrating label, a cult? If I was a prospect I'd be worried that maybe you're in a bit of denial that might come back and bite us both in the ass. (By the way, your letter reminds me of an awesome story in the most recent Paris Review called Keep It Bible by Ryan McIlvain. You can read a portion of it at www.theparisreview.org/viewmedia.php/prmMID/5836 and purchase the entire issue if you're interested - which I would encourage you to do because there is little that arty chicks dig more than a well-thumbed literary magazine peeping out of a dude's knapsack.)

One of the things your friends avoided by getting hitched right out of the gate was the standard expense of courtship. No doubt litters of screeching babies are eating up those deserted funds but you, heathen, will have to face the fact that dating requires resources - whether you're buying someone a drink or using one of your points to send them a note online. Speaking of which, while you were thumping a Bible (and your dick), the Internet became a very interesting and practical place to hook up. Your story is intriguing; the small details you've shared here make good profile teasers and it's a great place for you to practice flirting. Don't give up so quickly because you've had to spend a little money with no results yet.

Questions? Comments? Contact Sasha at pouledeluxe@yahoo.com.