BAYONETTA
Grade: B
Developed by: Platinum Games
Published by: Sega
Rating: M
Available now for the PS3 & 360

When you're named after a bayonet, chances are good you like to cut things, so it's no surprise that the witch named Bayonetta at the centre of this new action game is a fan of slicing and dicing everything that gets in her way. You'll be a fan as well, as long as you're prepared to endure one of the most painfully awful storylines in video-game history.

Bayonetta promises ultra fast-paced action that never lets up and it definitely delivers on that front. Using a variety of swords, guns and every other kind of weapon imaginable, you will slice your way through a wide variety of demons, working your way up to the massive bosses that tower over you like skyscrapers. If the game wasn't able to keep up with the action, it simply wouldn't work, but the flawlessly smooth animation and lack of slowdown make sure that everything runs perfectly throughout.

The combat system is simple - it basically boils down to two-button combinations - but it's that ease of use which keeps the hectic battles from becoming overwhelming. New moves and techniques are always available for purchase and they never feel tacked on or superfluous; every new skill you learn makes you feel just a little more prepared to survive the next wave of enemies. And you will need to feel prepared because the game isn't afraid to give you a challenge, especially on harder difficulty levels which really put you through the wringer.

Bayonetta's lightning-quick action is an insanely visceral experience but, to get to each adrenaline-pumping moment, you'll have to sit through some of the most idiotic cut-scenes you will ever witness. The confounding story (involving witches with magical hair, time travel and a battle between Heaven and Hell) veers wildly from tongue-in-cheek slapstick to dead-serious melodrama, never making much sense and always dragging on for far too long; nearly half of your time with the game is spent sitting through these seemingly endless movies.

If you can stomach the awful cut-scenes (or just skip them), you'll find a lot to like in Bayonetta. The hack-and-slash gameplay is addictively fun and simple, and fans of similar games such as Devil May Cry and Ninja Gaiden will feel right at home.

Bits & Bytes
. God of War 3, no doubt the biggest PS3 game of the year, finally has its official release date locked down. On March 16, players will once again be able to play as Kratos, the God of War, and finish off his quest to destroy Olympus.

. Will Apple's newly announced iPad be the first contender with an actual chance at usurping Nintendo in the hand-held video-game market? With a larger screen (a possibility for better graphics) and multi-touch capability, it definitely seems to have the power behind it to go head-to-head with the DS. Even if it doesn't beat Nintendo, it can't do much worse than the PSP.

Upcoming Releases
Feb. 9 - BioShock 2 (PS3, 360 & PC); Dante's Inferno (PS3, 360 & PSP).

Mel Stefaniuk is a writer who can tell the difference between Mario and Sonic.