If you kept an eye on the national news last week, you may have heard that Nova Scotia has a gambling problem. Specifically: no one's gambling on its new machines. And that's a problem!

Let's go back to 2007: the Nova Scotia Gaming Corporation rejected the first incarnation of these new electronic Keno terminals, internally concerned that the machines were very likely to attract high-risk players. The game and interface were then retooled to be more "socially responsible," and the machines were officially launched to much fanfare in 180 establishments this past March, amidst a firestorm of worried cries that the terminals would hook a new cadre of problem gamers.

Three months later, with the results coming in, the Nova Scotia government has an entirely different problem on its hands - its new, socially responsible video Keno terminals are widely unplayed and completely failing to draw money. At all. The terminals each draw less than $20 per day, and that's with wagers between $1 and $10 available. It's almost impossible to overstate how badly they've bombed; if VLTs were CBC programs, these machines would be Sophie. That's how awful they are.

Media reports suggested that attempts may be made to make the experience more exciting, but let's be honest here: the chances of redeeming these things is pretty low because no matter how it's dressed up, it's still going to be Keno. I've drunk tap water that's more interesting than playing Keno, electronically or otherwise. So let's operate on the understanding that these machines are unappealing, even to the most addicted of gambling addicts, and move on from there.

What does this mean for us in Manitoba? The Addiction Foundation of Manitoba's most recent report on the subject, Manitoba Gambling & Problem Gambling 2006, noted that Manitoba (and, in a tie, Saskatchewan) had the highest prevalence of problem gamblers. And problem gambling is most frequently associated with video-lotto terminals, which are commonly referred to as the 'crack cocaine of gambling.' (That expression always struck me as a little silly - what rockstar would be caught dead on a VLT?) The solution? Keno! Swap the VLTs across the province with these keno terminals - which I'm sure Nova Scotia would be willing to part with for a song - and boom, watch a much-maligned social ill start to shrivel away.

Despite whatever posturing it may pull to placate the addiction-treatment and anti-gambling groups, of course, the truth is that the provincial government would sooner chug cyanide than actually combat gambling addition; every province in the country relies heavily on the revenue it draws from gambling, and the Manitoba coffers need the money most of all. There are the have provinces, the have-not provinces, the super-duper-have-not-provinces, and then there's Manitoba, flipping its couch cushions every so often to see if it dropped some of its equalization payments under them.

It's the same reason we crack down on cigarette displays and packaging, but not on the actual act of smoking; if everyone stopped smoking - or everyone stopped gambling - the province would probably go bankrupt within the week. But if Manitoba ever does get serious about fighting problem gambling one day, it has a solid example to follow: a socially responsible set of machines guaranteed to fight addiction, one bored gambler at a time.

James Howard does not smoke or gamble, so he drinks extra hard to make up for it. Gotta keep the government in the black somehow! Read more at: slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.com.