Urban planning strikes again! Our columnist saves everyone's time and writes an imagined news storyJames Howard CITY TO 'EXCHANGE' TROUBLED DISTRICT FOR NEW VENTURE
WINNIPEG - Buzz is building about new plans for downtown Winnipeg following a city council resolution Mayor Sam Katz is hailing as a "triumph" for the beleaguered core. The city's historic Exchange District has been a headache for civic planners in recent years, with many of its signature character buildings either demolished for newer projects or left to 'demolition by neglect' by owners. The sweeping new proposal, passed 12 to four by council yesterday, will see the entire region bulldozed and paved to make room for a district-wide parking complex. Construction estimates were set at $150 million, then immediately declared out of date and bumped to $215 million. "This will be a truly world-class parking facility," the mayor announced proudly to reporters following the decision. "We had all agreed to get rid of this one stupid Annex building from, like, the 1920s or whenever, because it's right in the way of a parkade that's going to be built. Then we realized, for all the effort we're going through to take another building in the area apart, brick by brick, and reattach its facade to another parkade being built, we could probably just knock down every other building while we're in there... (It) was like a revelation," he explained. "You could see in everyone's eyes that they were excited." Heritage Winnipeg Executive Director Cindy Tugwell, who had stated publicly she was "unaware" that any buildings were up for demolition, declined to grant heritage protection to the Exchange District and said she supported the resolution because it will make the neighbourhood "more viable." "In some cases we've had people waiting years or even decades for these buildings to collapse on their own," she added, "so this will be a tremendous time-saver." Downtown BIZ and CentreVenture also spoke out in support of the resolution. "One of the biggest complaints we've faced time and time again is the lack of parking downtown, so this is a win-win situation for everybody," a Downtown BIZ spokesman noted. "We anticipate that visitors and residents alike will love the new development, with more opportunities to pay for parking than ever before." Not everyone in the city was pleased by the ruling, however. One Exchange District landowner said he was "very dismayed" at the ruling and feared the imminent destruction of an older parking lot he had intended to convert into a boutique parkade. "I've put a lot of money and hard work into this project," he said. "I had to buy three adjacent buildings and knock them all down for the renovations, so this is a definite blow for me." He noted that half of a gate from a demolished historic building still stands next to his parking lot, which he now plans to turn into a heritage park. "This is just another reprehensible decision in a long string of them from the policy-makers in this city," anonymous local blogger Hunky Bill commented yesterday evening. "These historic parking lots are the heart and soul of our downtown, and nobody is willing to step up to bat for them? Absolutely shameful." "Y DOES WINIPEG HAVE NO VISION???" one user posted on the "Save Our Heritage Parking!!" Facebook group, which had close to 1,200 members late last night. "MORE LIKE SHAM KATZ LOL DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE" "The what?" one local resident asked, approached outside her Waverly West home. "I didn't even know we had an Exchange whatever-you-said in Winnipeg. Are you sure? When did they put that up?" Despite opposition from what he referred to as "fringe pockets," the mayor remains in high spirits. "I believe this will definitely be the decision that strengthens our reputation as a destination city," he promised. "Given the choice between old buildings and new parking, we'll make that easy choice every time. That's what makes this city great."
- FUTURE WINNIPEG WIRE James Howard sees the future, and the future is flat. It also costs four to six bucks an hour. Read more at: slurpeesandmurder.blogspot.com. |