Walden Pond, Ont.
Sarah Slean rediscovers herself in the wilderness
John Kendle

Surprising as it may sound, Sarah Slean suffered something of a crisis last summer.

After coming off a tour in support of her Hawksley Workman-produced album, Night Bugs, the ethereal-sounding, intellectually minded pianist and singer/songwriter suddenly found herself unable to engage the world around her.

Though she now laughingly calls it her “twenties moment,” Slean went through a period of intense soul-searching.

Who am I? Why do I do what I do? Am I expressing myself the right way? All these and more were the questions Slean faced. Rather than choose a pharmacological solution to what could probably have been diagnosed as clinical depression, the 27-year-old Toronto resident chose instead to remove herself from her surroundings, pack her essential belongings and head to a rustic log cabin in the woods near Ottawa.

If that seems a bit of a rash move for a young woman who seemingly had everything going for her — critical acclaim as the new golden girl of piano, a solid and devoted fan base and a minor hit in Sweet Ones — Slean says she felt extreme measures were required.

“I am still at a loss as to what happened,” she says. “I am an extremely sensitive person and I am easily bruised, both physically and of the heart, so I know that I can be vulnerable that way,” she says.

“But I still don’t — I simply couldn’t find joy in anything. I lost the spark in people and I thought it would go away if I went out a lot with my friends, or if I studied harder or worked harder, but it didn’t go away.

“I just couldn’t find the stillness in my life that I so desperately needed, so I decided that drastic subtraction was what was needed.”

Thus it was that Slean decamped to the woods, bringing only her trusty piano, some reading material and a desire to heal. At first she concentrated solely on the day-to-day details of existence — hauling water, feeding herself, feeling comfortable. Then she eventually found herself reading a lot of philosophy, writing constantly in her journal and painting a lot (some of the results can be viewed in the booklet accompanying her new album, Day One).

“It was cathartic but it was very unsettling,” she says. “I had to question everything about myself — ‘You’re a singer, you’re a twentysomething, you’re in the pop realm but what are you?’ After a while I decided that everything about those things didn’t really reflect back to the real me.”

Slean ultimately moved back to her Toronto apartment (“(My) piano would probably die if I spent the winter out there”).

Re-energized by her surroundings, she set about writing Day One, the just-released full-length, produced by Peter Prilesnik, Slean and Dan Kurtz.

The album’s title and the song that inspired it are probably Slean’s declarations of faith in herself following the summer of her discontent. The tune’s opening line, after all, is “I’ve put my head back where it belongs, up there in the clouds.”

At the moment, the song Lucky Me is making the most noise on Slean’s behalf. Though its theme may seem obvious given her recent experience, the song is actually an observation on the interrelationship between science and faith in the modern world — set to a polka beat and featuring Billy Talent guitarist Ian D’Sa (he of the hair) on guitar.

Really.

“I know, I know,” Slean laughs. “I’m always thinking of these things but I did have to smile when I was going to Warner’s offices to tell them ‘OK, I’ve got a dark polka about the tension between science and faith in our times.’ I could just see the eyebrows being raised.”

In the end, no one seemed to blink and Slean is now enjoying a renewed buzz, as both the album and the single are climbing the Canadian charts. Also important to the musician has been the response of her fans, who have been following her career since she was just 20 and still studying music at the University of

Toronto.

“I’ve had great feedback from people, especially from young people whose minds are on fire with this kind of stuff,” Slean says. “They say they’re glad I’m not writing about skater boys or whining about some relationship I had when I was 17 or 18.”

Those words were important to Slean, since they seem to have bolstered her faith in wanting to write and perform her songs after all.

“In some small way, I think I have realized that this is somehow ‘holy,’” she says.

“The experience of making music and singing is a big scream of joy for me.”

Lucky her.

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