Who Likes Short Shorts?
Apparently the answer is Uptown readers
Marlo Campbell
I’m a judgmental person by nature, so with the Best of Winnipeg
results finally in, I feel the need to sound off.
First up: Hooters.
It took home third place for Best Wings and was voted the No.
1 sports bar in Winnipeg.
Rrright, ’cause people go to Hooters for the wings and the
hockey. Now if there were a ‘best place to ogle underpaid
women forced to serve fries while wearing short shorts’
category...
And what’s up with tattoos winning the Best New Trend category?
Maybe reality shows focusing on tattoos are a new trend (who’s
your favorite Miami Ink-er? Mine’s Garver), but I’m
pretty sure the art of tattooing has been around for centuries.
Furthermore, in regards to warmer weather, which took third place:
our society’s gluttonous consumption of fossil fuels has
resulted in global warming. New trend, yes. Best new trend, not
so much.
For what it’s worth, my Best New Trend vote goes to the
cryptic graffiti popping up around the Corydon area. Messages
such as “Forgive her” and “Not for sale”
are so much cooler than than “Fuck you” or crude pictures
of penises and pot leaves, wouldn’t you agree?
• • •
In other news, I recently received a press release from the mayor’s
office about the Winnipeg City Summit, specifically in regards
to former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani, brought in to speak for
the bargain price of $100,000 US.
(People in the know have told me his fee is actually on par with
other celebrity-type speakers. Mental note: get into civic politics,
look stoic for TV cameras during a crisis, do a few speeches,
retire to an Italian villa.)
I quote:
“A press conference with Mr. Giuliani will
take place on May 4th... (It) will be limited to 10 minutes and
questions will be taken from the floor in a lottery queue to be
drawn the day prior... For Mr. Giuliani’s keynote address
at the dinner, only the first 10 minutes may be taped (B-roll
only, no audio) and still photos taken for the first 3 minutes.
Media with still or video cameras will be escorted out after these
allotted times.”
Admittedly, I’m still new to this gig, but do these restrictions
strike anyone else as as bit repressive? For 100 grand, not only
do I want more than 10 minutes to maybe ask a question but, depending
on my luck, I want a commemorative DVD and a limited-edition souvenir
Giuliani bobble-head that I can sell on eBay.
And what happens at the dinner after the journalists with cameras
get escorted out? Does everybody get naked? Do they sacrifice
kittens? Are there strippers (or perhaps some Hooters waitresses)?
I smell a secret cult meeting with elaborate handshakes and big
furry hats...
Luckily, reporters with pens and notepads get to stay. Maybe they
can reveal the details of what goes on at a $260-a-plate dinner... |
Uptown
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