Sluts are in! Virgins are out!
This and other findings from a new astLife/LavaLife survey
Marlo Campbell
While inconsequential and somewhat sad, the press release I recently
received was also, completely unintentionally, the funniest thing
I have read in quite some time.
It highlighted the findings of a dating survey conducted by speed-dating
service FastLife and the wildly successful online dating site
Lavalife.
It was amusing right from the start, reporting that women ranked
a good sense of humour over intelligence, physical attractiveness,
self-confidence and social skills. Financial security came in
last.
Here’s the punchline — more than 60 per cent of these
women also said they would not date a man who earned significantly
less them them.
Uh, ladies, that would imply that you do, in fact, care about
a man’s financial situation. I’m not judging you,
but if you’re going to misrepresent yourselves in a survey
at least be consistent so as not to muddy the findings.
The press release goes on to state: “Regardless of the feminist
movement, when it comes to the bill, traditional values still
apply.”
Don’t you love how an entire social movement is casually
dismissed within the preamble?
Indeed, two-thirds of women surveyed said the man should pay for
the first date. Of course he should. Don’t those crazy feminists
realize that by fighting for equality they’re ruining one
of the only perks of being female?
Sure, women endure oppression, but once in a while we get a free
meal out of the deal. I recommend ordering a salad and picking
at it, because it’s still unbecoming for a woman to actually
eat, lest we gain weight and become gross and fat and therefore
unfuckable. Let Kirstie Alley be a warning to us all.
The absolute best line of the entire press release is this one:
“Virginity is out and experience is in.”
That’s right — good news for sluts everywhere!
Fifty per cent of men and 70 per cent of women said they wouldn’t
date someone who had not had a sexual relationship in the past
year.
Additionally, 28 per cent of men are totally fine dating a woman
who’s had more than 12 sexual relationships in the past
year, and almost half of men said they’d have sex on the
first date.
What a revelation! I would never have guessed that men would be
OK with dating sexually active women and sleeping with them on
first dates. Mind you, the press release doesn’t specify
whether the men surveyed were aware that they were expected to
spend money before receiving any action — an oversight that
may skew the data.
In summary, Fastlife founder Justin Parfitt shares his thoughts:
“Men’s and women’s dating choices are no longer
limited because of socially determined roles,” Parfitt says.
I hear you, Justin. It’s so refreshing to know that stereotyped
gender roles are a thing of the past. |
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