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Jeff Ross

The sultan of insulting. Jeffrey Ross is the quintessential roast comic, a standup who’s made his living and his fame dissing the dais. A roaster on the last nine Comedy Central Roasts, the current Roastmaster General at the New York Friars’ Club is taking the taunt to the people with Jeff Ross Roasts America, the 46-year-old comedian’s first North American theatre tour. Uptown caught up to Ross to get the goods on the tour, roasting and the art of the insult.

Uptown: So why do this tour? How did it happen?

Jeff Ross: I’ve wanted to take my stand-up out of the clubs and into theatres and rock venues for awhile now because I thought the audience could get rowdier if they’re on their feet more. I wanted a less relaxed vibe from my shows and I wanted the roasting to get meaner and elevated. After roasting Charlie Sheen (the most recent episode in the Comedy Central Roasts series) I couldn’t think of a celebrity that would top that, so I said ‘Fuck it, I’ll just roast the fans.’

How did you get into roasting anyways?

It was just a happy accident. It just sort of happened joke by joke, insult by insult, when I started making fun of celebrities the way I made fun of my friends. The Friars’ Club asked me to do a roast of Steven Seagal a long time ago. I didn’t know Steven Segal personally but I thought it sounded like fun to be able to say whatever I wanted about this crazy action star. It was really freeing. I walked out there, got my first laugh and felt like I was in my element.

You found your niche as a comedian. You’re the Roastmaster General.

It’s crazy, right? Not that anybody else really wants that title. You have to sometimes create a niche and I found a lane I didn’t expect to find, especially one that would take me to fucking Edmonton and Winnipeg.

Nobody thinks they’ll end up in Winnipeg.

I’m going to take you down a peg Winnipeg. You’ll call it ‘Loserpeg’ when I get done with you.

So how do you roast an audience member, someone you don’t know?

I just invite volunteers up from the audience at a certain point in the show. We’ll call it ‘speed roasting.’ It's 15 seconds of pain, whatever comes out of mouth, just stand there and take it like a man or a woman or a whatever. We’ll have a laugh at their expense and if they want to get me back that’s fine too. It will be a free-for-all, a very punk rock comedy show.

Has there been any problems with this format in the shows you’ve done previously?

The other night in Minneapolis or Madison, a lady in high heels kicked me in the nuts, so maybe I’ll ask the theatres in Canada to hire some extra security.

Why do you think people want to get roasted?

I don’t know, but it would be a great thesis for a psychology student. I just think people love being the centre of attention. Even when there’s a target on their forehead people love to get made fun of and people love watching it. It’s like a tar and feathering or a public hanging, it’s a spectacle and my shows are very over-the-top, like the Romans versus the lions sometimes.

Have you ever said something you regretted?

Yes, to this interview. I’m joking. I appreciate this, getting the word out. When I do these jokes I think about them beforehand. Even when they look improvised sometimes they’re premeditated so I’m pretty careful about roasting people who are good sports and can take a joke.

Have you ever been roasted yourself?

Not yet — and I’m not sure I could handle it. I might weep.

Well, that’s alright, isn’t it?

Probably, but you’d like to think you could handle it and have a thick skin, but under my blubber I don’t know how thick the skin is.

If you had to get roasted, who would you want to be there?

Well, Don Rickles is the best roaster ever, so I would beg him to come and then you just want your friends to come. You want all the comedians up there. There’d probably be 50 comedians ready to roast me.

Because they know you.

They’ve got the inside poop. Actually the best roast is if I was roasted by all the celebrities that I’ve roasted. That would be an epic three-part mini-series.

Was a Rickles a big influence?

He is more now, but I didn’t really understand him as a kid. Now when I watch him, I learn every time. I saw him perform in Las Vegas not too long ago and he just ripped the roof off the place.

What about when you were just starting out in standup, who were your guys?

I was into the rock ’n’ roll comedians like Eddie Murphy and Steve Martin and The Blues Brothers, the guys who played music and took their shows to rock star levels. I didn’t even know the difference between music and comedy; I thought it was all the same. Steve Martin played a banjo and Bruce Springsteen played guitar.

You see music and comedy as the same, but comedy doesn’t always get its due as an art form.

Comedies were left out of the Oscars and it all trickles down through show business, where people consider us one level above party clown. But, I love being a comedian. It wasn’t until I went over and did shows for the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan that I realized it’s a pretty important job.

People need to laugh, especially in tough time.

Especially in this shitty economy we’re in. It helps people bounce back and that’s a really fun job.

I heard you went down to the Occupy protests in L.A. and did some roasting there.

I sure did. That was pretty intense man. I considered it a humanitarian mission. Those people looked like they had their panties in a bunch and they needed a laugh. They’d been sleeping in tents so I just thought I’d go make them laugh a little bit.

Was it just a spur of the moment thing?

I went down and checked out the scene and then went down a couple days later and made jokes about the bankers and the protesters. It was fun.

And you’re working on a script for a film. I heard it stars Robert Deniro.

Yeah, I’ve always been a writer first, so I’m always working on screenplays and we’ve got one that looks like it’s going to be made.

That’s awesome, a guy like Deniro in a movie you’re working on.

Hopefully it’s going to be life changing for me. He’ll be hilarious in this role.

Is there any more information on the film you can give to me.

No, it’s all very top secret. Robert Deniro’s in charge of everything he’s done and I don’t want to expose anything, other than the movie’s called The Comedian and Deniro is going to knock it out of the park.

I heard Sean Penn’s involved as well (as well as Kristen Wiig).

Yeah, as the director. Pretty crazy, huh? I know he’ll make it great. It’s a dark comedy and I just can’t even believe it’s happening.

Have you ever been to Canada for any shows?

I’ve played Montreal a dozen times, I’ve stopped in Toronto once and I’ve been to Vancouver once, so nothing like the magnitude of what I’m doing this time, roasting the good people of Canada.

Were you ever a road comic, beyond shows at Just for Laughs and things like that?

I’ve always done gigs here and there. I love performing at colleges and comedy clubs but this is my first theatre tour. I expect big rowdy crowds and hopefully people who are up for being roasted on stage. Roasting starts about halfway through the show and whoever wants to come on stage and get made fun of is invited.

And before the roasting it’s straight standup?

Yeah, I’ll be bringing by trusty Fender Stratocaster and be doing a tribute to those people we lost this year like Kim Jong-il and Gadhafi and Steve Jobs and so many other dictators. I’ll do all the jokes that are too soon for regular public consumption. And if you want to get laid this is a great date night, because I talk about sex a lot.

Really, it gets people going?

Guaranteed to get your guy or gal very wet. If you come you’ll come.

Anything else, Jeff?

Just remember if you come to my show keep an open mind because it’s not like any other show. It’s designed to be offensive. If you like your comedy cute, you’re in the wrong place. If you want to hear the truth told and find out if you friends can take a joke or not, this is the place for you. It’s not just a comedy show, but a roast inside a party inside a riot.

Hey, one last question — when you’re roasting somebody and being mean, is there love behind that?

There has to be or it wouldn’t work. If there isn’t love behind it then it’s bullying and that doesn’t interest anybody. It has to feel like everyone had fun. I want everyone to leave my shows saying ‘Wow, what a party.’ I’ll stay around afterwards and give every single person a hug if they want, just so they know there are no hard feelings.

JEFF ROSS
Feb. 10, 7:30 pm, Burton Cummings Theatre