Rusty's Road Stories

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Vants

After playing a show in Santa Fe, we headed west through the New Mexico, Arizona, and California deserts. However, first we had to head south about 60 miles and take a left —no wait, a right — at Albuquerque. The landscape around there is so exactly like I remember from the Looney Tunes cartoons, I was tempted to keep one eye open for the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote. Beep-beep!

We stopped for the night just over the California border at a town called Needles. Although it is highly illegal — and we did NOT approve — Ryan had a few beverages in the backseat during the drive, and when we got out of the van it appeared he had peed his pants, although he claims it was vodka that had spilled in a perfect peed pants formation on the front of his sweats.

Ah, those "van pants" — or as we call them, "vants." Ryan has had this pair of vants for many years. They are so big and loose that two people can fit into them. He often pulls them up over his arms and rests them on his shoulders. I have vants too, although mine are super-stylish  University of Manitoba occupational therapy department sweats I got from my fiancée.

Ryan also has a special relationship with the back bench of the van. When we all pile in to leave a city in the morning, Ryan assumes his regular position laying flat and face down on that back bench. It takes approximately three minutes for him to fully fall asleep, only to wake when we arrive at our destination.

And now we say goodbye to those vants. One morning about a week ago, Ryan came in the van wearing... jeans?! They had finally kicked the bucket. The vants had too many rips and mysterious stains to go on any longer. Ah, the experiences they’ve had. We had a brief moment of silence and headed up through Seattle and back into our beloved Canada. Ryan had a long moment of silence, which was only interrupted when he woke up in  the next city.

Its so good to be back in Canada. See you in a week my friends!

I’d like to thank Ryan Voth for being my muse this week. And for those wondering, he has a beautiful new pair of vants.