Housecoat Diaries

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So what’s the big attraction with gambling? Why do people buy lottery tickets every week, plan how they’re going to spend their millions and then end up getting into huge, drunken arguments when they lose — only to do it all over again the next week? It seems as though it’s definitely about something other than winning. Maybe it’s about knowing that you’re not the only loser out there. Or maybe it’s simply that almost winning is some kind of reward in itself.
   
I love gambling. I’ve loved it ever since my grandparents taught me how to play poker at the age of four. But really, I love other gamblers more than I love gambling itself. Maybe it started off with my grandpa, who made more money off of playing bingo than he got from his pension. He had that perfect laid-back attitude toward life that seemed to come directly from some secret knowledge that every day, somehow, he would win some money.
   
I have a good friend who used to be a pool shark. I remember going down to Las Vegas Billiards with him. He was as good a pool player as you could imagine. And he was very fast. He could run the table in snooker the first chance you gave him, and he could do it in a matter of a few minutes. What always amazed me was how many people, despite knowing how good he was, would still play him regularly and always lose.
   
Sometimes, if we were in a hurry, I’d wait in the car while he went in and quickly won 20 bucks so we could go out for a few drinks. There was always a "customer," as he called them, waiting for a chance to lose some more cash.
   
We used to talk about what made people so eager to lose, and we came up with the conclusion that, as customers, they weren’t losing anything; they were buying something. They were buying a chance to get close to the "action" — the possibility of something great happening.
   
The thrill of winning is something we all desire, but we can and frequently do satiate ourselves on the knowledge that we "came close," as they say. Even though it’s an illusion — I mean, nobody would feel too lucky about having nearly been born — we find a kind of life-enhancement in our various little brushes with glory.
   
I’ve always enjoyed being around other people who’ve cashed in. I feel like, just by being there and rooting for them, I’ve come close. But — surprise! — there’s still a part of me that likes to be the winner myself. That’s why I feel particularly good when I take $20 off my buddy at the chicken toss, or pick up a cool $15 playing bum darts.
   
Now, if you don’t know what bum darts is, or maybe you’d like a little of the near-glory that goes with hanging around a "bum shark," well then, you’ll just have to find me somewhere and get in on the action, won’t you? Don’t be surprised to discover that it’s going to cost you a few bucks to be a part of it all. It’s worth it, though, isn’t it?
   
John Scoles is president and janitor of the Times Change(d) High & Lonesome Club.