Uncommon Sense

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I still remain convinced that common sense is not common.
   
With 2011 and this column’s run drawing to a close at the same time, it gave me a chance to reflect back on both the past year and five-and-a-half years of Uncommon Sense.
   
Overall, I’d say there’s been a lot of bitching.
   
When I pitched an idea for this pointed but usually darkly humorous column to managing editor John Kendle at the old Uptown offices on Albert Street, I specifically remember him asking me if I could sustain it. It was a necessary question asked by an experienced editor, but at the time I guess John didn’t realize just how many things irritate me or don’t make sense to me.
   
Over the half-decade of writing Uncommon Sense, I’ve tried to point out that everyday stupidity is actually more common than reasoned, intelligent behaviour. And I’ve had a great time doing it, even if sometimes I’m left bewildered by the unbelievable dearth of thought in the world. I’m sure I will be similarly astounded on a regular basis in the coming years.
   
 For instance, I know the airline industry will never make sense. I know Sam Katz and the City of Winnipeg will never, ever find a way to fulfill promises of synchronizing traffic lights. I know politicians will continue to treat us like stupid little children who can’t see through their nonsense. I know people will drive 30 in 60 zones and make turns from the middle lane without signaling.
   
I know we’ll be forced to pay for giant full-colour political signs because of outdated parts of the Elections Act while our roads and infrastructure crumble. Ad execs will continue to market bears with toilet paper stuck to their asses, and local media outlets employing educated professionals will never grasp the difference between "affect" and "effect."
   
I know celebrities will behave like modern-day Caligulas. It’s certain Hollywood will continue to green-light the worst movies in the history of entertainment — and you’ll pay to see them. Nickelback will somehow win awards, as will many other people whose main talent is breathing. Corporate North America will continue to abuse us, and we’ll do nothing about it. People will get fat and blame society instead of their diet and activity levels.
   
And so on.
   
Essentially, I’m convinced that modern man and modern woman treat reason like a 1-iron in a golf bag: a virtually forgotten tool almost no human can wield with skill.           
   
Far from bitter, I remain amazed at life’s rich parade marching before me. I’m glad people are weird. It keeps things interesting.
   
But that shouldn’t stop you from using your brain — or your turn signal. Take the 1-iron of reason out of the bag and swing it around once in a while. Learn to use it. Hit something with it — repeatedly and very hard.
   
And question things. Rail against stupidity. Reject the dumb and embrace the clever. Think — a lot.
   
In short, treat yourself to some common sense once in a while, and someday it might not be so goddamn rare. 
   
Mike Warkentin would like to thank John Kendle and Jen Zoratti for their editing, Karl Thomsen for his art direction, Marlo Campbell for her wit and Chris Without the Hat for his illustration. And thanks to everyone who’s read this column over the years. You are the reason street mags exist.