Uncommon Sense

It’s really hard to talk your way out of allegedly punching a hockey mom in the breast.
   
I’m referring to Paul Buchanan, a Winnipeg hockey coach who was recently convicted of assault, uttering threats to kill and harassment after an unfortunate 2009 altercation at St. Norbert Arena.
   
Long story short: witnesses say Buchanan got into a pretty heated situation with a parent of an opposing player after coaching a group of 12-year-olds, including his own son, to a win. Witnesses say remarks were exchanged, then shoves and threats, and so on and so forth until, according to witnesses, another scuffle ensued outside the arena. Then there were angry, threatening emails and harassing phone calls. And so on.
   
All this was after a hockey game involving 12-year-olds.
   
In a recent Winnipeg Free Press article ("Hockey dad puts blame on James," Dec. 15), Buchanan said his involvement with now-shamed hockey coach Graham James played a part in the incident. James has since pleaded guilty to several counts of abuse and faces sentencing in the new year; Buchanan said he was not a victim of sexual abuse at the hands of James but rather, really bad coaching.
   
"I was thinking it was Graham James," Buchanan said in an interview in which he explained his actions in December 2009.
   
I’m not really sure what to think about that one. You can judge Buchanan’s comment however you want. I’m going to gloss over any reference to James in favour of making a more sweeping statement: People who coach 12-year-olds should not get into fights at the arena.
   
I think I’m on pretty solid ground here.
   
The phrase "hockey moms and hockey dads" makes my stomach churn — and you can probably substitute any sport of your choice in place of shinny. Soccer moms, ballet dads, baseball moms — they all conjure up some pretty horrible imagery, some of it farmed right from my very own memories as a young athlete.
   
To be fair, there are some excellent coaches and sports parents who surround their kids with support and encouragement, and produce great athletes and better people.
   
On the other hand, I remember the coach of one of my baseball teams getting into a vicious screaming match with the manager during a game or practice, and both either quit on the spot or were removed by the parents. I don’t remember exactly. It was lot of yelling and I was about 10 years old.
   
I had another coach who would scrimmage with us in hockey, and would regularly hook us and trip us on the premise of preparing us for games and building character. As a defenceman who never, ever scored, I vividly remember my one near-breakaway chance end when a 40-year-old dick of a coach hooked me down from behind and laughed about it. I quit hockey within a year.
   
Adults who coach children need to be beyond reproach in character and behaviour. No swearing. No yelling. No berating. No belittling. No fighting. No punching other parents in the boob. All this seems very clear, and I don’t have room for any excuses when these simple rules are broken for any reason.
   
They’re children, and you’re a parent in a position of responsibility. Act the part or get the hell out of the locker room and don’t come back.
   
Mike Warkentin has no patience for idiot coaches.